Life is a process of learning. We all have our lessons to go through, each lesson must be passed - if you fail, you'll have to go through it over and over again, harder and harder each time. Keep your mind open to all things, do not turn away from possible futures unless you are sure that you have nothing to learn from them.
Running away from yourself does not pay. You are the most important being there is, look into yourself and be surprised what you might find. Do not live the life of others, they can look after themselves. This does not mean, however, that you shouldn't love others; on the contrary, when you see yourself as you are you will understand that love is the ultimate goal.
Recently I have developed several thoughts and feelings about life and love - unfortunately these thoughts are not finished. Sharing unfinished thoughts with others is potentially dangerous; thinking another's incomplete thoughts may lead to erosion of certainty, compromised awareness of self and doubt of the others' Existence. I'm sorry I can't be of much assistance to you in your search of yourself, but then again - nobody does, it's a path you have to find on your own. I wish you luck.
Here's a test to find whether your mission on Earth
is finished: If you're alive, it isn't.
Richard Bach, Illusions